Stories, snapshots preserve a legacy of Jupiter and Nancy Jambem

Wednesday, September 11, 2002
Stories, snapshots preserve a legacy
By Scott Cornell
Poughkeepsie Journal

Kathy McLaughlin/Journal
Nancy Yambem sits with her son, Santi, 6, in their home in Beacon. Her husband, Jupiter, died in the World Trade Center collapse. She wears his wedding band on a gold chain around her neck.

Kathy McLaughlin/Journal
Nancy Yambem has set up a collection of photos of her husband, Jupiter, on a kitchen counter in her home in Beacon.
It was a small voice within her, whispering, ''I'm with you,'' that told Nancy Yambem she would always have her husband close by. Jupiter Yambem was among the 2,819 who died at the World Trade Center on Sept. 11. He worked as a banquet manager for Windows on the World, the restaurant atop the World Trade Center, and was involved in community activities in Beacon, where he lived. At the Yambem home in Beacon, Jupiter Yambem will always be an important part of the family. Pictures and scrapbooks -- filled with photos of him, news of his achievements, stories about Sept. 11 and mementos from memorial services afterward -- are everywhere, from the coffee table in the living room to the kitchen counter. A small table next to the couch holds a small memorial for Yambem, part of the Indian tradition. There's a portrait of him, an urn filled with ashes from the World Trade Center, a snow globe with the World Trade Center inside -- which he gave to his son, Santi -- and a candle, lit! every day, and fresh flowers. The memorial and reminders, however, are not the stuff of mourning. Nancy Yambem wants to honor her husband, and to make sure Santi, 6, knows what a wonderful person his father was. Jupiter Yambem, 41, came to the United States from Manipur, a small state in the northeast corner of India. The Yambems met while they attended the State University of New York at New Paltz. The couple were active in environmental groups and Jupiter Yambem was a member of the Beacon Sloop Club. He also helped out with the soccer team on which Santi played. And as co-founder of the North American Manipur Association, Jupiter sought to preserve his homeland's culture, traditions, music and food. Nancy Yambem said it was important to her husband that the culture of Manipur be appreciated not only by them, but by the children of immigrants across the country.

A trip to India
Among the beliefs of Jupiter Yambem's culture is that a soul is released from the Earth one year after death. A service to mark Yambem's release is to be held in India today. Nancy and her son will be there to participate. Just as Nancy heard her husband whisper: ''I'm with you,'' she wants her son to know his father will always be a part of their family -- will always be close by. Although life -- the daily routine and the long-term dreams -- are different now, Nancy Yambem doesn't want to be viewed as a victim. She wants to move on -- without letting go. ''It's kind of hard with the constant bombardment of Sept. 11 from the media and from people around me,'' Yambem said. ''There's been a lot of coverage, and some of it may be excessive, but any world event would get this kind of coverage. It's just hard because of the position I'm in.'' She remembers the first couple of days, calling hospitals to try to learn the fate of her husband. ''The whole trauma is still very vivid ! in my mind,'' she said. ''The hardest part of the whole thing was telling my son, and hearing him ask why we were not looking for his dad.'' On the Saturday after the attacks, Nancy and her family learned officially that her husband had died. She found herself at peace because a cremation ceremony could be held for her husband. But, she said, there is no such thing as closure. She has taken a leave of absence from her job as a therapist in Rockland County. She's taken over as assistant coach of Santi's soccer team. ''My family and friends have been very supportive through the whole thing, and the community of Beacon has been very helpful,'' Yambem said. ''I felt very uplifted, and it is a feeling I hope will continue.''